30 August 2011


Touch is a natural, necessary human need. Even scientists say that if a baby is tended to physically in every way-- food, clothing, shelter-- but not touched, they will fail to thrive and will just wither away. I used to think that I didn't need it. In fact, for the bulk of my adult life, I despised it when people touched me. It make me so uncomfortable my skin would crawl. This made relationships rather difficult, especially romantic ones. When I married my now-ex husband, I thought that by getting married, that this feeling would go away.

It did not, and it took several more years before I understood why.

The reason for it was lack of love. I did not love him, and furthermore I realized that I hadn't loved a single person I've ever been with in a sexual way, ever. What a startling thing to figure out when one's just hit the huge milestone of thirty years old!

Of course, I didn't realize what was wrong with it until I actually FOUND that true love. I never imagined a day where I would love someone so deeply that their simply looking at me would give me shivers of delight, or that a simple hug or other gentle touch would bring up waves of ecstasy all over my body. In finding K, I found that, and now I understand why so many people crave touch.

It's hopelessly addicting.

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