30 August 2011

Dominant Doesn't Mean Domineering

1.ruling, governing, or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence: dominant in the chain of command.
2.occupying or being in a commanding or elevated position.
3.predominant; main; major; chief: Corn is the dominant crop of Iowa.

inclined to rule arbitrarily or despotically; overbearing; tyrannical: domineering parents.

A truly dominant man would never actively seek to hurt his partner. His role as dominant is that of protector, so it would go against the entire nature of the dynamic for him to be abusive or domineering. He is there to guide, to raise up his submissive partner, and in doing so it's guaranteed that she will feel safe, loved, and protected. His role is to have authority, to show the way in the relationship for its betterment.

I once saw someone try to argue that she wouldn't allow her husband to be dominant in their relationship because if jobs came up, he would always choose his job over hers, even going so far as to move across the country to seek different employment.

A truly dominant man wouldn't choose his job over hers simply because HE is the MAN. He would do so because his job is the one that earns more money (in the case of those with two-job households), and if it didn't, it would be selfish of him to seek his own desires over the needs of his family. This is not being dominant. It is being domineering, selfish, and pigheaded.

There is a fine line between dominance and domineering that many men struggle with. It all comes down to trust. A truly dominant man is worthy of wholehearted respect, love, admiration, and trust. Nowhere does fear need enter the picture, as would an overbearing, tyrannical, domineering male figure.

The bible said simply this: "A house divided against itself cannot stand." If people don't realize what this means, I have the answer. What it means is that there must be some sort of structure and levels of authority in all aspects of life, including in the home. Two people cannot be the leaders and rulers over the household, because the power struggle caused by it will undoubtedly end in the destruction of the relationship. It is completely natural for one person to take the lead role over others, and throughout the course of history, it has always been the man's place to do this.

Today, it's a different story altogether. The rise of feminism has given us many bad ideals. Among them is the idea that men are worthless and useless, because women can do anything they can. It successfully (in most cases) gave the pants to the women and emasculated men to the point where they're not even allowed to say "I think..." anymore for fear that they will be labeled sexist. It's a complete role reversal with bad consequences, and it's against the very nature of man and woman.

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