30 August 2011

I Married My First Love...

...and it didn't take a piece of paper from the government for me to believe it.

Being with K certainly wasn't my first relationship. I'd been through several, and they usually started out seemingly alright then took a swift turn for the worse. I went the whole legal marriage thing with the wedding and the dress and the stupid marriage license. None of it worked. It didn't work because of one simple fact:


K is the first person, and only man, I will ever and have ever truly loved. I knew it before I ever met him that we were meant to be together, and we sealed our dedication in marriage under the eyes of God through planned sexual union for this very purpose. From that first moment, we have been man and wife, and for this reason I say I married my first love.

He is my first, last, and always.

The Key to Sex.

I'll admit it, like everyone else has: I LOVE SEX. I love everything to do with it. The touches, the feeling, the closeness. I can't get enough of it. If K and I both had the fortitude, I could do it all day long, every day for the rest of my life, and live in a serotonin-induced haze of happiness.

It wasn't always this way, however. For most of my life, I viewed sex as something to be endured. I didn't enjoy it all that much, frankly. It was something one just DID when they were in a relationship, and it took me a long time to realize what I was missing, what made the sex SUCK.

What was always missing was love.

Love and spiritual connection are absolutely essential to amazing lovemaking. All my life I THOUGHT I was in love with the men I had sex with. In fact, most of my life I equated love with sex to such a degree that I seriously thought that if a guy wanted to have sex with me on a regular basis (as opposed to a one-nighter), it meant that he loved me. Many other women go through the exact same thing. They equate love with sex. For my part, I was a delusional child, to put it simply.

Love is not sex, but sex is a manifestation of love. Without having real, true love in the equation, sex becomes mindless gratification, and is always ultimately disappointing. Mankind was made for connection, and trying to do without it will always be equally unsatisfying in the end.

Dating Is For Children, Courting Is For Adults.

I've never been one to "date". What is there to this actual concept of dating, actually? Someone spends money to take someone else out somewhere they really don't want to be just so that there's a chance they might get in that other's pants?

There's no room for GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE in dating. It's always about doing something fun or exciting. Whatever happened to just sitting and talking about one's beliefs and values? It's not what fun stuff two people like to do together that makes for a stable relationship. It's not how well they mesh in the sack that does it, either.

Rather, it's getting to know that other person which helps to contribute to a good relationship. Long gone are the days of learning about someone before you want to screw them, because frankly I don't think most people care for the connotation of courting. Courting means getting to know someone with the intent to marry. Why worry about marriage when it's so much more fun to play the field? Is that it?

It sure isn't, but in this immature day and age, only the real adults are smart enough to realize that fun isn't everything.


All little girls start out wanting a white picket fence, a handsome, loving husband, and babies. Then, for some reason, they "grow up" and start wanting other things, like jobs or careers. I was one of those that never "grew up". I did my time working out of the home, and I honestly hated it. All I really wanted was to settle down, be a wife, and have babies.

I wanted to be a housewife. It took a lot of years before I was finally able to get what I wanted, and now that I'm able to devote 100% of my time at home to my loving husband, my five year old son, and the upkeep and happiness of my home, I've found that it's made ME a happier person. I'm glad to be where I am, and doing what I'm doing. I wouldn't want it any other way.

When I Was...

...twelve years old, I still played make pretend in the woods, running around barefoot, tanned, and happy all summer long like a wild little Indian child. I had barbie dolls and I used them. Kissing games were just that: games. Twelve year old girls of today are concerned about dressing with the fads of the day, having their own cell phone, and asking their friends for blowjob techniques.

...I didn't even know what a blowjob was until I was sixteen years old.

Children in today's day and age are growing up far too fast.

Schools push sexual education at far too young an age, encouraging kids to get out there and be sexually active instead of letting the parents teach moral and social responsibility and readiness. Little tween girls are nothing but carbon copy sluts like the other little girls they see on television. Short skirts, thongs hanging out the back of jeans slung so low it's lucky they haven't developed pubic hair yet, the list goes on and on and on. Just the clothing that's pushed on young girls is enough to get them to believe it's okay to show your goods and be a complete tramp.

Little boys listen to rap music proclaiming that it's good to "smack a bitch", "beat ho's", and "live for bling", and they repeat it wholeheartedly without even understanding what the words mean. By the time they reach an age where they DO, they come to the misguided understanding that all women want it, even if they say no, that women are tools for their satisfaction and nothing more, and that being "gangsta" is cool.

Society has done absolutely nothing to contradict these children, and in today's modern society, parents are so busy both working full time jobs to see to it that they learn otherwise. The television is their true babysitter, friend, confidant, and parent.

It's a sad, disgusting state of affairs.

The "Magic Words": Easy to Say

"I love you" is one of those very tricky phrases. Throughout my life, I've had a variety of men tell me that same thing. It took me a long time to realize that none of them actually meant it. The first one "loved" me because I gave up my virginity to him. The second said it, not because he actually loved me; instead he saw an inherent weakness in me that he could exploit. That guy abused me heavily for seven long, painful years. The one after him? Talked about how he loved me, but what he loved was the idea of having an all-the-time free lay and a slave to clean his house.

It wasn't until I met K that I finally found out what real love was. Beforehand, I merely accepted it, and only said it back because it was the "polite thing" to do. I never really felt it. Factually, I didn't even know what love was, what it looked or felt like. Now that I have something to compare it to, it's so easy to see how shallow all the other relationships of my past were. In looking back, too, it makes me appreciate what I have now even more.

True Love Online? ...It Can Happen!

I never thought in a million years that I'd end up falling in love with someone I met over one of those stupid internet dating sites. I'd joined up just looking for friends, for someone I might have something in common with. Having just moved 1300 miles, I knew no one, and loneliness was already starting to eat at me.
Then I stumbled across HIS profile, and as I read through it, I realized what an amazingly intelligent man this was. I decided to take the initiative and sent him a message saying that I enjoyed his profile and just what I thought of it. Within days, we were messaging each other through the site for hours, then it went to instant messaging, then on the telephone for six or more hours at a stretch, until finally we decided to meet.

We already knew we were meant for each other before we met. When we finally did, it was with the idea of cementing that knowledge through sexual union under the eyes of God. In doing so, we found ourselves truly blessed, and have been closer than anyone I've ever known in every way imaginable.

Highly Sensitive Person?

Ever since I was a small child, I was always called shy, introspective, sensitive. I never stopped to question it. I only knew it was just how I was. I tend toward being very uncomfortable in crowds, and with people in general, although I can put up a good front in those situations if I absolutely MUST. I would almost consider myself something of a sociophobe, because being around people just effects me so much. I can't be in a crowd and not seem to absorb its mood, and if there's one thing I hate more than anything else, it's feeling emotions that aren't mine.

In my relationship I tend to get very overwhelmed, and there was always a part of me that feels somewhat ashamed of crying over seemingly every little thing. Disappointment, anxiety, even love, effect me so strongly that I feel like if I don't let myself cry, I'll become so overwhelmed by it that it'll paralyze me. The hardest time I have had is simply expressing my love for him. Just thinking about it sends tingles all through me and tears to my eyes. ...just writing about it does this. I guess I kind of thought of myself as something of a freak, unable to control even the tiniest emotion, but now I feel a little bit better in knowing that I'm not alone with it.

I only found this term yesterday, but as soon as I saw it I knew it fit me to a tee.

Pornography Is Infidelity.

More and more in this day and age, I've seen questions from scared women, wondering if their significant other/husband is cheating on them. Often to blame is secretive text messages over cell phones, or the ever-dreaded internet pornography. There are those who feel that porn isn't bad; after all, if ladies are watching it WITH their husbands, he's not keeping secrets from them. ...right?

Wrong. Porn is the fantasy. It is whatever the film tells men they should expect in the bedroom. It might start out as curiosity, but it always grows into much more than that. Men in time come to expect their girlfriends or wives to be whores, there to pleasure them whenever and wherever the urge strikes. They stop seeing the loving, caring, feminine natures of their counterparts and instead see a TOOL to be USED for their own self-gratification.

The reason for this is simple: people who watch pornography eventually buy into the lie. They begin to covet what they see on the screen (be it tv or computer). They begin to grow sour against their own life relationship, wondering "How can I get my girlfriend/wife to do a threesome with another girl?" and all sorts of other things. In essence, they believe that what they see on that tv screen IS reality, and they begin to hate and loathe the truth in their life.

Eventually, many of them stop having sex with their partners and instead masturbate to the images on the screen. Why is that? Because they no longer respect their partner and instead want to have sex with what it is that they're watching.

Thinking about cheating on your partner, in my opinion, is just the same as doing it. You may not have actively screwed someone else, but if the opportunity presented itself, all those thoughts would manifest themselves and make it SO MUCH EASIER to "slip up" and actually cheat. Porn is no help with this at all. It only gives fuel for the fire of raging hormones while killing all moral thought at the same time.


Touch is a natural, necessary human need. Even scientists say that if a baby is tended to physically in every way-- food, clothing, shelter-- but not touched, they will fail to thrive and will just wither away. I used to think that I didn't need it. In fact, for the bulk of my adult life, I despised it when people touched me. It make me so uncomfortable my skin would crawl. This made relationships rather difficult, especially romantic ones. When I married my now-ex husband, I thought that by getting married, that this feeling would go away.

It did not, and it took several more years before I understood why.

The reason for it was lack of love. I did not love him, and furthermore I realized that I hadn't loved a single person I've ever been with in a sexual way, ever. What a startling thing to figure out when one's just hit the huge milestone of thirty years old!

Of course, I didn't realize what was wrong with it until I actually FOUND that true love. I never imagined a day where I would love someone so deeply that their simply looking at me would give me shivers of delight, or that a simple hug or other gentle touch would bring up waves of ecstasy all over my body. In finding K, I found that, and now I understand why so many people crave touch.

It's hopelessly addicting.


I have never read the book (where the term "surrendered" comes from), but it doesn't take rocket science to realize when one has found a kindred spirit, or that I don't find some value in the concept.

I have always been submissive by nature, but only recently did I find a man worthy enough to surrender myself to. It has been The Most Joyous thing that's ever happened to me. There's so much freedom in being allowed to be myself and to give in to him. I'm like a sapling, bending against the force of the wind. I'm a planet, and he is my sun. I can't help but find myself drawn to him and revolving around him. It feels so natural, so perfect, so right.

He never expects me to not have a mind of my own, although I do naturally demure to him. I am not a doormat, weak-willed, lazy, or lacking in intelligence. He loves me for my whole, and doesn't pick me apart to decide how I should behave. He understands that I find words of love far more difficult to express than doing so through my actions, and he's alright with that because it's simply a part of me. When I need correction, he will be there to help me. When I feel overemotional and clingy, he'll never push me away.

I finally feel free to be myself, for the first time in my life.


Most people would probably say that I am one of those traditional sort of people. I believe that the best place for a woman is in her home with her children, and it's a man's responsibility to support his family. Now, I understand completely that in this day and age it's very difficult to make ends meet. We're no longer in the 50s, where mom can stay at home and dad can go to work and come home from his 9 to 5. However, if it's possible, I don't see why it shouldn't be that way.

As I was growing up, I was always told "Don't let people drag you down for being a woman. You can be whatever you want to be, do whatever you want to do." The part that they seemed to have forgotten to mention is that I could be whatever I wanted SO LONG AS I DID WHAT THEY WANTED, WHICH IS TO GET MY ASS IN GEAR AND HAVE A HIGH PAYING CAREER.

What I did and always have wanted was to be a stay at home mother, but in this society more often than not SAHMs are considered too lazy to work, uncaring and unmindful of the hard work that their mates put in to support their family. They're often espoused as sitting around the house all day, eating bon-bons and watching daytime soaps. Factually, this is rarely true at all. I know it's certainly not the case for me!

Working out of the home is a woman's choice, just like any other choice, and I'd never like to see that taken away. There were a couple of good things that came from the women's movement (one of them being suffrage), but I personally believe that so many families throwing their children into day care has done a lot of harm to society. I think working it out so that a mother can raise her children herself would be of tremendous benefit to all of society.

You can't do it, you say? Too many bills, not enough income without the two paychecks? Try cutting back. Try living more frugally. Use coupons. Shop wisely. Take only one vacation a year instead of two. Cut up those credit cards. Stop borrowing money. Stop feeling the need to have whatever is current and new NOW instead of saving up for it. It's not hard to do, but many Americans wouldn't even bother trying. They're happy with their lives, or at least they think they are.

I sit outside sometimes in the evenings and watch the neighbors pull in from work. They come with their two brand new cars, shuttling their preschool-aged children from daycare into the house. I've never once seen these people play outside with their kids. Hell, sometimes I didn't even realize they had kids for months! How can they think they have the good life when their children are growing up without them, spending every day from seven in the morning till six at night with someone else? I don't know. I just don't think it's right or fair to both parents or their children. Maybe they don't see any other way to do it.

I just find it incredibly sad.

The Paper Means Nothing.

I used to be one of those girls that sat and daydreamed all day long about what my perfect wedding would look like. What would I wear? Who would attend? What would be the color scheme? The list goes on and on. When I got around to my "real" wedding, it was nothing like I'd hoped for, and for that matter, neither was the marriage. When I decided to end it (for a variety of reasons), I determined that I would never marry again, nor would I ever go looking for love.

Yes, I was disenfranchised, but it's to be expected when all my fantasies were nothing but crap in the face of a "real" marriage.

I gave up hope for awhile, not realizing that my expectations about relationships weren't really that high. Beforehand, I'd thought that I could never have the total package and everything that goes along with it. I was so hung up on that piece of paper that I didn't realize what actually constitute a REAL marriage...until I met K.

Finding him came completely out of the blue. I hadn't really been looking; all I wanted was to find someone that I shared interests with, on a purely intellectual basis. And then it blew up into something far bigger, and frankly, it scared me. But we talked about it and discussed our feelings until all hours of the night until I felt a lot better about Falling and Being In Love. Once I felt free to love again, then I experienced it for the first time, with him.

We spent a lot of time talking about the nature of relationships and what makes a marriage. K suggested to me that it isn't the piece of paper that makes a marriage. The piece of paper is from man, a license to wed going against what should otherwise be a completely spiritual experience. He asserted that marriage is a contract between two lovers and God, and that sexual union should never be entered into lightly. In fact, it should only be entered into with the idea that the one you make love with is your intended one and only, and in doing so you declare before God that this person is your mate, for all time.

I spent awhile thinking about that. It wasn't hard for me to realize that there was some undeniable truth hidden there, right in plain sight. I thought about all the relationships I'd had over the course of my adult life. I let my hormones rule my body without my heart being in it, resulting in less than satisfactory results. I even tried sex purposefully without "strings", or "friends with benefits", with the thought that I didn't need to have emotion involved to have "a good time", and it resulted in self-loathing, dissatisfaction, and disgust of my person. I realized that part of the reason they all failed so badly was because the proper motivation for sex just wasn't there.

K and I talked a lot about meeting, and on the first day we did, we went in with the intent to solidify our dedication to each other through sexual union under the eyes of God. It was very much planned, as opposed to being a spontaneous heat of the moment event resulting in yet more dissatisfaction. Some might say that all the magic was taken out of the act through all the planning we did before we went into it, but I found it to be very much the opposite. It was a very spiritual experience, and we both came away solidly feeling that our union would be blessed by God for approaching the matter of sex in that very same profound, spiritual way.

And it has.

I don't believe for one moment that the piece of paper is enough to make one "feel" married. Marriage comes from God as our higher power, not the local government. I learned this, clearly, through all the experiences of my life, and only after realizing the truth have I come to have true happiness.

A Course of Events.

It isn't hard for me to see that everything I've done in my life has shaped me and moved me to the place where I am now, all of it toward the person I'm meant to be with forever. If I never would've stayed in the abusive relationship so long, I wouldn't have had my son. If I hadn't married my ex for all the wrong reasons, I wouldn't have ever become so disgusted with where I lived to take that leap of faith and move halfway across the country. If I weren't so lonely and lacking in friends, I never would've joined the online site where I met HIM. I can't imagine any two people being more perfect and right for each other.

I knew we were meant to be before we even met in person, and how it scared me! It's too early, I thought. I'm rebounding. I don't want to fall in love so hard and so fast. It took HIM to make me realize that there was nothing wrong with the quickness of our affection. Who are we, really, to go against what was starting to look more and more like the hand of God in our lives? He asserted that if I fell in love with him, it wouldn't scare him off...and I believed him.

It was one of the best things I've ever done in my life.

Not so long after, I sent him the lyrics and a link to a youtube video of this song. It perfectly expresses us without the need for any more words. He can't stand country music, but when he listened to it and read the words, he cried. I know I sure did.

God Blessed the Broken Road
-Rascall Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true


Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

Ladies...Grow Up!

I saw a post on one of my mom's groups asking why the ladies on the board loved their husbands. Except for a very small handful, most EVERY woman said something akin to "because my husband gives me whatever I want, takes me places, buys me THINGS" and so on and so forth.

Whatever happened to loving the small stuff? Why must women be BOUGHT like whores in order to be happy?

I'll tell you what. K and I are dirt poor. We're living in his mother's house without a dime to our names. All we've got is our car, our happiness together, and the goodwill of my MIL for letting us stay in her home. Am I unhappy? Hell no! I have my man and my son, and between the two, they give me The Greatest Joy in my life. I don't sit here and worry about what things I want. My needs are met, when they're actually NEEDED.

Most people would be too stressed out about MONEY to be able to be happy living this way. Most ladies would be harping on their husbands to get a job, or get a BETTER job, but not me! It'll come in its time, when we need it. In this economy, how can one spend all their time worrying over things that could just as well be gone tomorrow?

Take the time to analyze your relationships, ladies. If you're happy in your marriage because your husband does things for you or gets you pretty little presents, you have absolutely no idea what happiness truly is! A look, a smile, holding hands in public like teenagers, staying connected. These are the sort of things that are truly important, and without them life is, frankly, hollow.

Natural Order and Roles.

I'm a Deist. I use reason and the powers of perception that I was inherently born with to see the miracles of life, showing that there absolutely must be a Grand Creator to have made everything in this vast universe. All the time, human scientists are "discovering" new laws of nature which are only a part of Natural Order, set in place for all time by that said-same creator. It's no huge leap of logic for me to understand that Natural Order dictates male and female roles in human society.

I'm by no means an advocate of men being overly aggressive bullies, nor the idea that women should lay down and take shit from the men in their lives as the proverbial doormat. What I am saying, however, is that it's clear to me that men and women are meant to provide certain roles. Men are the hunters, protectors, and breadwinners of their home, while women are meant to be the heart of the home. Feminism has dictated for many years that women can do whatever a man can, and it's possible that they can do MOST of it. However, in doing so, much of what a woman would want ends up being completely unnatural, going straight against Natural Order.

If you don't believe me, take as an example that of female bodybuilders. Never have I seen something so disgusting as a woman trying to make her musculature into that of a man's. Women are meant to be soft, curvy, and feminine.

I firmly believe that much of what's wrong with today's society has to do with the continually blurring line between what is masculine and feminine. Women are encouraged to "be men" (do anything they like that is masculine in nature), while men, by contrast, are told that it's okay to be effeminate and "metrosexual". If men and women would but look to their God-given strengths and put them to their best advantage instead of constantly trying to be someone they're not, Order would reinstate itself and we'd see a return to better times and more wholesome values than anything that's shown today.


Only around six months or so ago, I'd have laughed if someone tried to bring up the idea of soulmates. I was so disenchanted with life and love that I honestly couldn't even bother. Why bother, after all, when all men are assholes, and the odds of finding that One Perfect Person is so small it's absurd? Yeah, I did the bad marriage thing and it made me rather, ah...wary of the opposite sex. I'd firmly determined that I wanted nothing at all to do with men, period.

The one thing I did do, however, was let go and let God take control of my life. I made a move which seemed scary and completely ridiculous to me, taking a huge risk in moving down the entire east coast of the US with the hopes of starting a new life. Why not? I figured. I was about to be thirty, a single parent once more, and divorced to boot. What did I have to lose?

As it turned out, absolutely nothing, and everything to gain. Moving was the best thing I've ever done in my life, bar none. If I hadn't, I couldn't say that I, through direct result of it, found my One True Love. Yes, I used to be disenchanted with everything to do with relationships, but meeting K changed all of that. Never in my life have I been so happy, loved, scared, appreciated, overwhelmed with intensity, the list just goes on and on. It's been truly amazing and a real blessing from God, that he should have set me on the path here to real, lasting happiness.

Thank you, God.

Traditional Values.

Feminazis tell me regularly that I'm bad and wrong for living my dream, that I should get off my ass and go be a man. Funny thing is, though, that I'm actually a woman, and according to them I can do whatever I want. Apparently to them it doesn't matter that what I want is to be a wife and mother, not some soulless high-payed, high-powered, high-stress executive. Staying home is my family's choice. My husband loves that I do, and I'm far happier raising my own son than I ever would be letting some stranger do it for me just for the Almighty Dollar. Things aren't important to me, as everything in America keeps trying to tell me. So long as my family is housed, fed, and happy, that makes ME happy.

Far More Than Just Sex.

One of the things I've always had a hard time about when it comes to submissiveness is the fact that no matter where I go, it always seems to be people thinking of it in a sexual aspect. Even here on EP, nearly every group I find regarding being submissive or surrendered boils down to one thing: the sex. It's all about the D/s relationship, what you do in the bedroom, and how you serve him. It always revolves around the sex, and it's almost impossible for me to find a group that finds it to be far more than just that.

Submissiveness, in my eyes, is about one thing, and it's not sex.

It's about trust. To be submissive, you must have absolute trust in your partner. You trust him to love you, to take care of your needs, to protect you. Yes, you trust that he'll understand your needs in the bedroom, but it's not the end-all, be-all of a natural dominant-submissive relationship. To be submissive and to surrender is a joy. It's not something that should be required of you.

Your dominant mate should see and understand the value of your submission to him. It shouldn't just be about his desire to be powerful, or to hold your reins. He should consider himself truly privileged that YOU are the one to lay yourself down before him and submit your entire being to him.

It's a true sign of love if this is the way your relationship works.

Not Just For the Bedroom!

I don't consider my relationship that of a lifestyle. My HOH and I don't have "sessions" where we enact sexual things and go about our day acting like the average "vanilla" couple otherwise. Our relationship is free-flowing, unstrained, and absolutely natural. I am a natural submissive by heart and my deepest desire is to always please my husband. There is no need to spank me because I ALWAYS defer to him, no matter what. Yes, I do cheek him on occasion, but he likes that. I do it intentionally because I know he likes it. Not that he needs a reason to, but it gives him another opportunity to dominate me.

The act of domination doesn't have to be painful, although perhaps some might feel that it's necessary. I know factually that I do not need it, and not only that, but it would be detrimental to our relationship and strain the trust I have for him. When my HOH dominates me, it always results in laughter, his and mine both. My body is extremely sensitive and his desired way of dominating so is through tickling. In only moments, I'm completely at his mercy, laughing and gasping for breath. Often he tells me I'm not allowed to struggle, and I must take his "punishment". Usually in this case I'm cheeky again, because I know that in doing so he'll become even more aggressive toward me.

Even still, he need not even touch me to dominate me. A simple smoldering look is enough to stop me in my tracks and set my pulse to racing. And believe me, my HOH is FULL of those kinds of looks! It's immensely gratifying to know that they're ALL for me.

I don't see any need for real pain in a relationship. A swat on the ass in passing or pulling hair in the bedroom is one thing, but real, true pain? I don't find it necessary, and neither does he. If my HOH made me cry for any reason, I know for a fact that it would break his heart. Our relationship is one full of love and laughter, and his desire is to keep me laughing above all else. Without that joy, what sense is there in living at all?

We don't have to fear about keeping the nature of our relationship a secret from my five year old son because the simple fact is, there's nothing to hide! I don't have to worry about my child's reaction, or try and keep things hidden from eyes that should not see it. All he is able to see is love and laughter and lots of huggies and kissies. It's the kind of atmosphere that all children should be raised in, and I know that it's inspired a great deal of confidence in him at his young age.

While I understand that some people enjoy "the lifestyle", this is not the way we choose to do things. I love our natural, traditional, male-led and dominated household. It sets a good precedent not only for me as his submissive, loving, attentive wife, but also as a role-model to my son, who will learn through example how to be a real man.

Submissive Doesn't Mean...

...I'm into BDSM and the sexual fetish lifestyle revolving around being submissive or surrendered. I don't wear a collar, receive spankings when I do "wrong", I'm not a "slave" to my "master", I don't prefer to be a doormat. I'm no masochist, though a swat on the ass in play on the way by once in awhile doesn't bother me. Being submissive doesn't mean that I have fluff between my ears, or that I will just shut my mouth and do what I'm told. And no, if I speak up and say my mind, you may NOT put a ball gag in there.

I'm sure I've ranted about this before on another similar experience group, but submissiveness isn't all about the sex. It's about communication, love, respect, and deep trust. That's not just from the perspective of the submissive, either. The door MUST swing both ways for a dominant/submissive relationship to work. The submissive needs their dominant mate to be strong, to provide for them, to help them feel secure, safe, and comfortable as they are. The dominant must always be kind, caring, gentle, and considerate of his mate's needs, and his top priority should be to see to it that these needs are met.

I've been submissive my entire life. I was a quiet, shy, ultra-serious, and very reserved child. I was also very naive, and my submissive nature and the way I was raised contributed heavily to me putting myself into a very bad, very abusive relationship. Fact of the matter is, I didn't know how to simply say no, so I just went along with things I felt a little squicky about. By the time I fully realized my position, I felt there was no way out, and therefore I was stuck for seven long, lonely, and scary years. I finally managed to break away, although it was extremely difficult for me. Doing so likely saved my life.

I found myself suddenly single and pregnant, with almost no support in my life. I was scared to death of being alone and single forever. So when the opportunity came to get together with an old High School boyfriend, I leapt at it, much to my detriment. I had second thoughts leading up to and all through our wedding. I didn't really want him to touch me. I grit my teeth and bore his attempts at sex. I stayed home while he went to work, but the only time I was truly happy was when he was gone. I ended up discovering a lot of truths about my husband, among them many lies and the fact that he thought marriage was for free housekeeping and free sex whenever he wanted it. After three years, I ended it and moved across the country, with the desire to put as much space between me and him as possible.

I learned a lot from that marriage, truth be told. I learned what I really needed out of a man. My ex is one of those guys that's so eager to please that he has no mind of his own. What do you want for dinner? Whatever you want. What movie would you like to see? I don't care, whichever one you like. The list goes on and on. As it turns out, my ex was submissive himself, and that was the sticking point and one of the largest reasons why our marriage failed. It taught me that I need a truly dominant man, one that holds to traditional values. Someone I had things in common with, that would listen and actively engage my mind in conversation and matters of intellect.

In moving across the country, I ended up finding just who I was looking for, and I'm ever so glad for all the mistakes I've made. If I hadn't made them, they never would've led me here.

Like a Child.

There's nothing in the world like your husband holding you while you cry like a baby and telling you that everything will be alright.

There's such comfort in his words, such strength in his arms.

Being with him makes you feel stronger yourself, more confident.

Even if you feel like a child when he's holding you, there's nothing wrong with that.

He allows you to cry, to grow, to change, and loves you all the more for your tears.

You epitomize femininity to him.

You allow him to see your weakness, and even that weakness is a strength.

You feel like a child, but when your emotions are wrung out, he dries your tears and you return to being a woman, having grown through the experience.

There is nothing more feminine and womanly than being allowed emotion.

There is nothing wrong with being held, and nothing wrong with needing it, too.

Dominant Doesn't Mean Domineering

1.ruling, governing, or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence: dominant in the chain of command.
2.occupying or being in a commanding or elevated position.
3.predominant; main; major; chief: Corn is the dominant crop of Iowa.

inclined to rule arbitrarily or despotically; overbearing; tyrannical: domineering parents.

A truly dominant man would never actively seek to hurt his partner. His role as dominant is that of protector, so it would go against the entire nature of the dynamic for him to be abusive or domineering. He is there to guide, to raise up his submissive partner, and in doing so it's guaranteed that she will feel safe, loved, and protected. His role is to have authority, to show the way in the relationship for its betterment.

I once saw someone try to argue that she wouldn't allow her husband to be dominant in their relationship because if jobs came up, he would always choose his job over hers, even going so far as to move across the country to seek different employment.

A truly dominant man wouldn't choose his job over hers simply because HE is the MAN. He would do so because his job is the one that earns more money (in the case of those with two-job households), and if it didn't, it would be selfish of him to seek his own desires over the needs of his family. This is not being dominant. It is being domineering, selfish, and pigheaded.

There is a fine line between dominance and domineering that many men struggle with. It all comes down to trust. A truly dominant man is worthy of wholehearted respect, love, admiration, and trust. Nowhere does fear need enter the picture, as would an overbearing, tyrannical, domineering male figure.

The bible said simply this: "A house divided against itself cannot stand." If people don't realize what this means, I have the answer. What it means is that there must be some sort of structure and levels of authority in all aspects of life, including in the home. Two people cannot be the leaders and rulers over the household, because the power struggle caused by it will undoubtedly end in the destruction of the relationship. It is completely natural for one person to take the lead role over others, and throughout the course of history, it has always been the man's place to do this.

Today, it's a different story altogether. The rise of feminism has given us many bad ideals. Among them is the idea that men are worthless and useless, because women can do anything they can. It successfully (in most cases) gave the pants to the women and emasculated men to the point where they're not even allowed to say "I think..." anymore for fear that they will be labeled sexist. It's a complete role reversal with bad consequences, and it's against the very nature of man and woman.

19 August 2011

Economy Hits Families Below the Belt

For those that don't believe that we're in a new great worldwide Depression, facts speak louder than rhetoric.

According to a new Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report, the jittery economy is responsible for birthrates falling to their lowest rates since 2007, falling into the same pattern not seen since the Great Depression. Today's birth rates are 65 births per 1,000 women - less than rates found in 1935 when birthrates were 77 per 1,000 women.
Sixty-five births per one thousand women? This idea is extremely frightening to think about for very long. It's worse than during the middle of the Great Depression. Granted, today's birth control measures are far better than what they were back in the thirties. Taking into account population growth in the US between then and now, the fact that birth control is readily available is probably a moot point.

The economy worldwide is horrible and bound to get worse, prompting women all across the US to not have children. If this trend continues, it's bound to have terrible consequences for the US and the world. It may lead to the nation's depopulation, making it harder and harder for our children to find partners in the future.

For all that globalist greenies claim that the world's population is out of control and needs to be cut back, it seems that they don't actually need to do anything to further their goals. 

Source: CDC report: Bad economy leads to low birth rates

17 August 2011

Feminism, Pt 1-7

This is a video series I found on youtube from a very smart, well-read young woman about feminism, why it's bad for the world, and its tie into global government, liberalism, and the NWO. It's well worth the time spent to watch it, and I recommend it highly for anyone who feels that there's something inherently wrong with society and gender roles in today's modern age.

Even if I tried, I could never say this better myself.

All rights to http://www.youtube.com/user/christy0misty for her wonderful insight on this very important topic.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

11 August 2011

Whatever Happened to "Let Kids Be Kids"?

I made the mistake of commenting on the subject of this post to my mom's board without having first read the article. My first reaction was this: "Because clearly two men can't be best friends without getting sexually involved. Seriously. It's a KID'S show. Why do people need to keep reading into shit that's just not there?" 

My comment, I believe, was true enough, if left to its own merit. Americans are, in my opinion, hyper-focused on dirty sex and alternative lifestyles.  The saying used to be that a girl and a guy couldn't be just friends without there being something sexual or romantic involved. I guess the same thing is now true of ANYONE who's ever friends with anyone else, regardless of their gender. 

I don't believe that my initial reaction was entirely uncalled for. However, once I went back and read through the article, I was presented with a slightly different picture than the one I mistakenly assumed, and I believe one that's much worse than what I'd originally thought.

An online campaign is calling for the producers of TV’s “Sesame Street” to allow characters Bert and Ernie to get married in an attempt to “put an end to the bullying and suicides of LGBT youth”, according to the group’s Facebook page.

...am I the only one that found this entire idea to be completely absurd? I mean, I truly do feel for the kids and parents of kids that are dealing with LGBT issues, but this idea is ridiculous! Sesame Street is a KID'S show, meant for toddlers through kindergarteners! 

But this needs to be handled in a different way. Parents: how about teaching your children-- when they're OLD ENOUGH to understand!-- to be accepting, to love and value everyone for who they are as a person, instead of introducing homophobia and bigotry? Why rely on a children's television program to do it for you if you actually WANT your children to grow up tolerant of others?

...oh, wait. I believe I covered that elsewhere. (Read here, here, or here.)

Moving on. 

I understand completely the feelings of the parents that don't want something like this to take place. Not everyone in the world has religious or moral views in line with the LGBT lifestyle, nor does everyone feel that their four year old ought to be subject to learning about alternative sexuality (or any at all, for that matter!) through a children's television show. For all the people that would find this objectionable, marrying Bert and Ernie would be tantamount to taking Sesame Street away altogether.

Leave the infant through six year old age group alone, people! Let them live in a world where two boys or two girls can just be friends. They'll find out about the more lurid aspects of our nihilistic, sex-crazed society soon enough.

10 August 2011

Mandatory Sex Ed for NYC School Children

According to the New York Times, middle and high school students in New York City are being forced to attend sex education classes starting as early as this year. Allegedly, the purpose of this is to teach kids safety and responsibility. I'm pretty sure there's much more to this. Look here:

"The curriculum includes lessons on how to use a condom and the appropriate age for sexual activity," says the article.

My big question is this: since when has it been the responsibility of anyone besides a child's parents to teach them about sex? This article was linked on one of my mom's groups, and I was the only one that dissented against the mandate. Everyone else thought it was just fine, and at least one said that SOMEONE had to do it, because clearly parents weren't. My point, though, is that it SHOULD be the parents.

Where is the curriculum for this sex ed program? How am I to know whether these teachers are going to be putting forth the moral standards that I'd care to hold out for my children?

...for that matter, what do THEY think "the appropriate age for sexual activity" is? I'm sure they won't tell 10 year olds that the appropriate age for sexual activity is marriage.

I find this mandate to be highly disturbing. It's yet another example of parents not taking the time out of their apparently so damn busy lives that they can't be bothered to properly raise their own children. How easy to be lazy and focus on yourself; just let the state do the child-rearing for you. Hell, while you're at it, why don't you just sign over your parental rights altogether? That's what the state would rather you do, anyways.

This whole attitude is sad, disgusting, and pathetic. If talking to your children about sex is so embarrassing that you need to have the state do it FOR you, then you may want to reconsider having them altogether, because you're certainly NOT mature enough to have had them in the first place.

09 August 2011

Leaving Won't Make It Better.

This is purely an opinion post. Take it as you will.

On one of my mom's groups this morning, one of the ladies expressed a desire to leave the country for some other shore, I suppose with the idea that it'd be better to not be in the US if things keep heading in the direction their pointed. While I know the idea of this might sound tempting, it isn't effective for at least a couple of reasons.

The first of these is simply this: it doesn't matter where you go or what country other than the US you try to live in. You will not escape from what's being planned for our world. The elites don't just want the United States under their total control. Why stop there, when they can have the entire world? Whether or not you think they can, THEY do, and that's all that matters.

Secondly, I understand the desire to run away and try to find somewhere more peaceful and/or "safe" to live. I truly do. People talk about the Fight or Flight instinct all the time, and it's a natural instinct to run when faced with something so very overwhelming as the potential destruction of our entire society and way of life. 

But the answer isn't running away.

If everyone on the planet decided to just run away, there would be no one left to fight. This thing isn't going to go away if we simply bury our heads in the sand! It takes consistent and concerted effort on our part to stand up and fight against it, and only through doing that will we be able to stop total world domination by the elitists. Yes, it IS frightening, on a deeper level than anything Hollywood could ever pull out of its ass. It's far more frightening because it's REAL. 

We can stop it, if enough people are willing to stand up against it. As the adage goes: it's better to die on your feet than live on your knees. If we don't fight against what's coming, that is exactly what will happen!

06 August 2011

Justice Served, For Once

New Orleans cops convicted in post-Katrina shootings case

"Today's verdict by these jurors sends a powerful, a powerful, unmistakable message to public servants, to law enforcement officers and to the citizens we serve and indeed to the world," U.S. Attorney Jim Letten said. "That message is that public officials and especially law enforcement officers will be held accountable for their acts, and that any abuse of power, especially that power that violates the rights and the civil liberties of our citizens, will have serious consequences."
"The citizens of this country will not, should not, and we intend that they will never have to fear the individuals who are called upon to protect them," Letten declared. 

Humiliation, Not Always a Bad Thing!

 It gives me never-ending pleasure when I can find something so early in the morning to talk about. I found this little article (posted in its entirety below) through one of the mom's groups I frequent. It was apparently the subject of some debate, though I can't honestly see what for. The article asks pretty simply if it was a good idea for this man to humiliate his son in the manner in which he did.

I answer with a resounding "YES!", but I'll post the article first, and then explain why.

Best Facebook update of all time, posted by a dad
Sometimes the internet surfaces something so completely delightful, we can forgive it for turning us into Googfacetubemail droids. This Facebook update, posted by a dad who came upon his son Chris's profile when the teenager forgot to log off, is just that thing. Here, Shine readers, for your viewing pleasure, the best Facebook update we've ever seen:
In case you can't read it: "To all of Chris' friends: This is his father. My son carelessly left his account logged in [sic] so I decided to snoop around. Upon reading my son's personal information, I would like to clear a few things up. My son is not a "gangsta," he will not "beat a ho's ass" and he will most certainly not "roll a fatty wit his boyz." So for all of those who think he is some hard ass thug, think again...he is Chris _____[redacted], a 15 year old kid that was afraid of the dark untill he was 12 and cried at the end of Marley and Me."

The message is hilarious, obviously, though as a mom (and therefore now forever on the wrong side of cool. Sigh) part of this joke also gives me pause. I hate to be a buzzkill, but....exposing a teenager's obvious personality contrivances and affectations, the 'face' they're putting on to hide deeper problems and insecurities, may feel satisfying in the moment, but it doesn't really seem like the way to help a kid. In fact, it seems alienating and mean. We have no idea if this message was followed up by a sound parenting moment or a great dad-to-son talk (and with talk of rolling fatties at 15, you know, we sort of hope it was) and if it was, well, then maybe this badass Facebook message worked. If not, well...won't Chris just find another forum to discuss being a gangsta and beating ho's butts? One that brings him even further away from his dad?
I'll start at the top of the exposition portion of this article. The mother who wrote this article said this sort of treatment toward a teenager seemed "alienating and mean". I personally don't think that it was at all.

Sometimes, the best way to get through to a person is to humiliate them.

It doesn't sound so nice when putting it that way, but it's the God's honest truth. This teenager obviously thought that it was cool to be "gangsta" and undoubtedly he was just saying the things he thought his alleged friends wanted to hear. I highly doubt this is the sort of kid that routinely "beat a ho's ass", but the fact of the matter is this: he shouldn't have sacrificed himself and who he really is JUST to fit in with some crowd.

Look. I know what it's like to be a teenager. We all do; we've been there. It's definitely not easy. There's tremendous pressure to fit in, go with the crowd, to be like everyone else. And if your friends are doing and saying things that you otherwise would balk at? ...well, you just put on a "front" and go along with them.

However, as parents it's our responsibility to help our children-- of ANY age-- to develop their own personality and sense of identity. It shouldn't be gotten from their peers, or social media, or the television. And having grown up under a strict father myself, I don't find that humiliating this teenager was a bad thing at all.

After all, who among us would actually WANT their child walking around saying things like they're going to go "roll a fatty" with their friends and "beat a ho's ass"?

One other thing the woman who wrote the post said got me thinking. She implied that now that the boy had been humiliated by his dad in this fashion that he would just find another outlet for these "gangsta" attitudes and that his father had done the worst thing possible by further alienating his child. I don't find that this is the case at all. One can't even begin to guess as to the nature of the relationship between this father and his son. For all we know, they're the average white-bread American family, going to church on Sundays and eating dinner all together at the table every evening. Of course, they COULD be alienated from each other, too.

Regardless of their personal situation, I feel that it's a parent's business to be involved in their teenager's life, whether they like it or not. Yeah, we parents? We're not "cool" at all. We look at things differently from our children.  We're old-fashioned. We're "out of touch". But it's our responsibility that they're raised RIGHT. Not just letting them do whatever they want as soon as they want.

It might suck to be uncool, but it's what we signed on for when we had children in the first place.

I know if my son grew up and started acting "gangsta", I'd put a stop to it immediately, and quite possibly in the same way as this man did with his son! Acting in this manner would in no way be true to his true identity, and would only be a manifestation of his desire to fit in somewhere. Kids are so desperate to be anything that they're NOT in today's day and age, and it's frankly infuriating. They need to learn some pride in who they actually are, not try to fit in so hard that they lose everything that makes them, them.

And as parents it's our JOB to see to it that they don't lose themselves.

I can only hope that by posting that message on Facebook, this wayward teenager managed to lose all his "gangsta" friends. And while the incident was undoubtedly mortifying, this kid will grow up and get over it. There's no doubt that other friends will come along; they always do.

I'm sure this dad will be watching closely when they do, too, just as I will be as my own son grows up.

05 August 2011

Television-- The Greatest Evil of Our Day

When I stop to think about what I would consider one of the greatest evils of this century, a lot of things can come to mind. War. Famine. Disease. Bigotry. These are truly evil things. However, I feel that there's one thing very few people think about but everyone in modern-day society relies on.


TV is evil? people might question me. I've always been less than fond of the "boob-tube", but lately my feelings on it have grown quite a bit stronger.

Take, for example, an article published today on CNN's website, based off a study done by the University of California Los Angeles. The study was regarding children from the age of 9 to 11-- more commonly called the "tween" years-- and what values they tend to hold above all else.

It found that above all, tweens value one thing above all else: fame.

The study, published in the Journal of Psychology Research on Cyberspace, found children aged 9 to 11 now hold “fame” as their No. 1value.  Fame ranked 15th in 1997. This raises red flags for researchers, who say the shift in values over the last 10 years may have a negative effect on the future goals and accomplishments of American youth.

No exertions of morality or honesty or being accepted. No. Kids today want what they want when they want it, and they believe they deserve this because the almighty television tells them so. I've taken to call this the Entitlement Generation. Look at Disney's afternoon lineup, and you'll easily see what I mean.

Hannah Montana. Sonny with a Chance. Shake It Up. Jonas Brothers: Living the Dream. Just some of the shows they press on kids showing tweens becoming famous, getting on tv, or starting their own "super mega-band".
The list goes on and on, and that's just Disney. Take a look at the shows on other typical children's channels and you'll realize that the media is pushing kids to fame instead of hard work to achieve their ends.

Children today are inundated with assertions that they'll have control over their lives, get what they want, and always have a good time if only they can get to be famous. Who needs to get good grades or go to college when it'd be far easier to be "discovered"? Why worry about making friends, learning social social skills, and being responsible when you're going to leave all those friends in the dust when you're famous? Don't worry about being nice to people you meet; after all, soon they'll be seething with jealousy and licking your boots, DYING to be Just Like You.

"With Internet celebrities and reality TV stars everywhere, the pathway for nearly anyone to become famous, without a connection to hard work and skill, may seem easier than ever,” said Yalda Uhls, a UCLA doctoral student in developmental psychology and lead author of this study. “”When being famous and rich is much more important than being kind to others, what will happen to kids as they form their values and their identities?"

Morality in today's day and age has taken a steep downcurve. It's as easy to see as opening up the local newspaper or watching the evening news. The television-- undoubtedly THE babysitter of the 21st Century-- is certainly not helping the problem. The fact of the matter is that children are impressionable. They tend to believe what they see and take things at face value. And while any tween would balk at being called a child, they are simply that. Their intellect isn't fully developed, nor their standards of morality and other values. 

In this day and age, both parents are often forced to work to make sure that ends meet, leaving tweens and young teenagers to their own devices. When everything on the TV screams at them "Go be famous!" and their parents aren't there to instill proper values in them, what else are they to think?

There's a simple solution to this problem, folks. Get rid of the television. Monitor your child's viewing and the websites they frequent. Start being parents instead of letting social medias raise your kids! 

It isn't enough to just bemoan the glaring attitude problems of today's generation, shaking your head and washing your hands of it. These children are our future doctors, lawyers, and politicians. 

Start DOING something about it!

Article- Study: Tweens aim for fame above all else 
Disney Channel lineup found here.

02 August 2011

Waiting For the Coup.

Rather than go on a lengthy diatribe against "Super Congress" or the debt ceiling debate that's been going on these past few weeks, I want to post this video that explains EXACTLY what the debt ceiling is for. Yes, it's from a popular television show, but not only is it true, but it shouldn't be too hard for many Americans to follow, considering they think that "reality tv" is actually reality.

Watch and learn.

If you can't figure it out, folks, we're being held hostage, and the result of the bills being passed through the Senate and Congress right now are nothing more than an attempt to cause terror in the American people.

That's right. Our own government are a bunch of terrorists, something we SWORE to stand against after 9/11. Not only that, but they're also committing an act of treason against the entire US government, because their Super Congress bipartisan committee will undermine all the checks and balances held in place by the current system.

It's time for Americans to wake up and start to pay attention to this stuff. Unfortunately, by the time they do, it'll almost undoubtedly be far too late. The bill to make defunct all the powers of Congress is set to pass today.

Video found through MoveOn.org