I Married My First Love...

...and it didn't take a piece of paper from the government for me to believe it.

Being with K certainly wasn't my first relationship. I'd been through several, and they usually started out seemingly alright then took a swift turn for the worse. I went the whole legal marriage thing with the wedding and the dress and the stupid marriage license. None of it worked. It didn't work because of one simple fact:

I WAS NEVER IN LOVE WITH ANY OF THEM.

K is the first person, and only man, I will ever and have ever truly loved. I knew it before I ever met him that we were meant to be together, and we sealed our dedication in marriage under the eyes of God through planned sexual union for this very purpose. From that first moment, we have been man and wife, and for this reason I say I married my first love.

He is my first, last, and always.

True Love Online? ...It Can Happen!

I never thought in a million years that I'd end up falling in love with someone I met over one of those stupid internet dating sites. I'd joined up just looking for friends, for someone I might have something in common with. Having just moved 1300 miles, I knew no one, and loneliness was already starting to eat at me.

Then I stumbled across HIS profile, and as I read through it, I realized what an amazingly intelligent man this was. I decided to take the initiative and sent him a message saying that I enjoyed his profile and just what I thought of it. Within days, we were messaging each other through the site for hours, then it went to instant messaging, then on the telephone for six or more hours at a stretch, until finally we decided to meet.

We already knew we were meant for each other before we met. When we finally did, it was with the idea of cementing that knowledge through sexual union under the eyes of God. In doing so, we found ourselves truly blessed, and have been closer than anyone I've ever known in every way imaginable.

A Course of Events.

It isn't hard for me to see that everything I've done in my life has shaped me and moved me to the place where I am now, all of it toward the person I'm meant to be with forever. If I never would've stayed in the abusive relationship so long, I wouldn't have had my son. If I hadn't married my ex for all the wrong reasons, I wouldn't have ever become so disgusted with where I lived to take that leap of faith and move halfway across the country. If I weren't so lonely and lacking in friends, I never would've joined the online site where I met HIM. I can't imagine any two people being more perfect and right for each other.

I knew we were meant to be before we even met in person, and how it scared me! It's too early, I thought. I'm rebounding. I don't want to fall in love so hard and so fast. It took HIM to make me realize that there was nothing wrong with the quickness of our affection. Who are we, really, to go against what was starting to look more and more like the hand of God in our lives? He asserted that if I fell in love with him, it wouldn't scare him off...and I believed him.

It was one of the best things I've ever done in my life.

Not so long after, I sent him the lyrics and a link to a youtube video of this song. It perfectly expresses us without the need for any more words. He can't stand country music, but when he listened to it and read the words, he cried. I know I sure did.

---

God Blessed the Broken Road
-Rascall Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

[Chorus]

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

Soulmates?

Only around six months or so ago, I'd have laughed if someone tried to bring up the idea of soulmates. I was so disenchanted with life and love that I honestly couldn't even bother. Why bother, after all, when all men are assholes, and the odds of finding that One Perfect Person is so small it's absurd? Yeah, I did the bad marriage thing and it made me rather, ah...wary of the opposite sex. I'd firmly determined that I wanted nothing at all to do with men, period.

The one thing I did do, however, was let go and let God take control of my life. I made a move which seemed scary and completely ridiculous to me, taking a huge risk in moving down the entire east coast of the US with the hopes of starting a new life. Why not? I figured. I was about to be thirty, a single parent once more, and divorced to boot. What did I have to lose?

As it turned out, absolutely nothing, and everything to gain. Moving was the best thing I've ever done in my life, bar none. If I hadn't, I couldn't say that I, through direct result of it, found my One True Love. Yes, I used to be disenchanted with everything to do with relationships, but meeting K changed all of that. Never in my life have I been so happy, loved, scared, appreciated, overwhelmed with intensity, the list just goes on and on. It's been truly amazing and a real blessing from God, that he should have set me on the path here to real, lasting happiness.

Thank you, God.