30 August 2011

Highly Sensitive Person?

Ever since I was a small child, I was always called shy, introspective, sensitive. I never stopped to question it. I only knew it was just how I was. I tend toward being very uncomfortable in crowds, and with people in general, although I can put up a good front in those situations if I absolutely MUST. I would almost consider myself something of a sociophobe, because being around people just effects me so much. I can't be in a crowd and not seem to absorb its mood, and if there's one thing I hate more than anything else, it's feeling emotions that aren't mine.

In my relationship I tend to get very overwhelmed, and there was always a part of me that feels somewhat ashamed of crying over seemingly every little thing. Disappointment, anxiety, even love, effect me so strongly that I feel like if I don't let myself cry, I'll become so overwhelmed by it that it'll paralyze me. The hardest time I have had is simply expressing my love for him. Just thinking about it sends tingles all through me and tears to my eyes. ...just writing about it does this. I guess I kind of thought of myself as something of a freak, unable to control even the tiniest emotion, but now I feel a little bit better in knowing that I'm not alone with it.

I only found this term yesterday, but as soon as I saw it I knew it fit me to a tee.

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