What is Being a Submissive Wife?

I wrote the forthcoming little snippet on the 11th of January of this year in one of my mom's groups and just happened to stumble across it by accident. Once I reread back over it and realized that it needs to be re-posted somewhere where it can get more exposure.

Some of these things have changed-- especially in the realm of my staying at home, because I now work-- but it's still pertinent and I've left it in its entirety without changing anything.

So here goes!

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To me, being a woman submitting to one's husband is a matter of following Natural Order-- the rules of the universe given to us by our Creator to live by. Since the dawn of time, this is how it's been, and only ever changed until very recently. It makes absolutely no sense to me to live the way people do now. The constant struggle for power over the relationship and always wondering who is in charge is asinine at best. It's no wonder children are growing up nowadays not knowing what role they are to play in life!

In a sense, I do follow my HOH in a biblical way, too, although I don't do so because I'm a Christian. I'm actually not, although I do believe in Jesus Christ, his message, and God's all-encompassing love. I just firmly believe that the bible taught us that families should be ordered this way simply because it is Natural for us to do so...or, if you want to put it biblically, because God wants us to live this way. Since God is the Maker of All Things, following the biblical standards set forth is simply True, Right, and Natural, because he is the Creator of everything and therefore all Natural Laws belong to God. ...if you can follow my roundabout logic! 

My position is that if it worked so well for so long with the man being the head of the household, it oughtn't have ever been changed in the first place. 

I am a natural submissive in the realm of the classic 50s style housewife. I love to cook and clean, and especially love taking care of my man. I prefer to stay at home to do this, and he prefers it as well. Submitting is easy for me because my HOH makes it very easy for me to do: he's hardworking, extremely trustworthy, caring, loving, considerate, and strong. He always thinks of his family first before worrying about himself. His morals are unshakable, and he has not and never will give me cause to doubt him.

Modesty in an Immodest World

When most people think of modesty, what do they think of?

That's a loaded question, because of course people think all kinds of things. I know when I reached my later teens and early twenties, I had a rather negative viewpoint of modesty. I was raised to be modest, you see, and once I left my father's home I decided I would simply do what I want. Skirts below my knees? Not on your life! High-collared shirts? Oh, hell no! I was woman, hear me roar...and all that other nonsense.

When I was that age, I decided to go against much of what I was taught in matters of looks and appearance. It was rebellion on my part, and I thank God that I'm smart enough to not have been a REAL rebel and get myself into illegal drugs or binge drinking, as so many young adults do in this day and age. No, my rebellion was in how I looked, and by God, I was going to do what I wanted and dress how I wanted.

So, yeah. I showed up at nightclubs at the age of twenty-one wearing little more than a fishnet dress, thong, over-bust corset, and knee-high stiletto boots. Pretty much everything I had was on display for everyone to see...and I did get a LOT of looks. How could I not?

Did I love the attention it got me? ...not so much.

Instead of feeling free, beautiful, and desired, fully in charge of my femininity and the burden of responsibility cast off...I kind of felt like crap. I felt like a slab of meat. Men's eyes were on me everywhere I went in that club, and I knew EXACTLY what they were thinking. They didn't even HAVE to undress me in their head. Hell, I did it for them! Get them a little too drunk, and I could've faced a really bad situation. Thank you, God, that nothing more than a few errant drunken gropes happened. 

Rather than making me feel good, this behavior-- this acting out-- made me feel cheap and sleazy.

Damnit. Those feminists lied to me...again!

Modesty sans frumpiness!

Nowadays? I'm older and wiser. Fortunately. I've thrown off the feminist propaganda that tells me I can damn well do what I please and damn the consequences of my actions...and in doing so I've gotten back to my roots. I'm generally conservative in nature to begin with (how I ended up half-naked at a club making out with girls and having a couple too many I can't even imagine now!), but my spiritual path is taking me even further than I was raised to be.

Why be modest, though? Is there really anything wrong with wearing a tank top and short shorts? I mean...I live in FLORIDA, the United States capital of God-awful summer heat! I SHOULD be able to bend the "rules" I've got in my head of what is modest and immodest...right?

Not so much. At least, not for me. To me, modesty is about respect. It's respect for myself, for my relationship with my HOH, and for God.

• Dressing in a trashy way with lots of skin showing isn't respectful to myself. It feels as though I don't value myself. I don't want to be one of those women who get ahead in life because they wear miniskirts and let their breasts hang half out. Let me instead be judged (if you will) based on my OWN merits...not by how I look. I want my children to grow up knowing that I respect myself. I want them to learn from my example and not make the same mistakes I have.
• I take a great amount of pride in my relationship. If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm submissive to my HOH naturally; it doesn't take any effort on my part whatsoever. I consider the fact that how I dress is not only a reflection on me, but it also is a reflection on HIM and our relationship. I have respect and deep, deep love for him and our relationship, and I aim to show it through my style of dress. My body is his to see...and his alone. I am not for public display.
• God created us all beautiful, in our way. I wouldn't cover myself up in ugly sacks and say "This is what God wants from me!", waving around my piousness like a badge of honor. I'm a humble person...but I still want to be pretty. God made women to be beautiful, so just because I won't wear tank-tops anymore and prefer long skirts does NOT mean I am all of a sudden going to wear ugly clothes. News flash: I can wear bright colors and lively patterns on my clothes and STILL look modest!

Of course, not everyone will agree with this, and I don't really care one way or the other if they do or not. I know how I feel when I dress modestly, in long skirts and dresses.

I feel feminine.

I feel pretty.

I feel confident.

I feel respectful AND respected.

To me, that doesn't seem like such a bad thing at all...

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To see the kinds of styles I enjoy, feel free to follow me on Pinterest, my second best hobby! 

 

The above photo is courtesy of Gal Meets Glam.

Viewpoints on Spirituality.

It's funny how a span of only a few months can see huge changes come to a person and manifest in the world. In my last post, I talked about how I felt lead toward covering my head and dressing more modesty for submissive and spiritual reasons. In fact, I prefaced it with the idea that I never intended this blog to be full of my spiritual musings at all. I'd truly wanted it to be so that each and every submissive-- regardless of what manner of sub they are-- would be able to find something of value to themselves on my blog.

But...things change. 

The older I get, the more I realize that I'm sort of doing it wrong. Submissiveness is about and ought to be about spirituality, first and foremost above all else. If it's not about spirituality, then it's about sexual pleasure...and what God wants from us out of life is not simply reacting to pleasure and pain.

Last September, I wrote a lengthy post on here about why I was trying to keep religion out of my writings. The post was called Submission vs. Religion, and it can be found here. I find it kind of funny that, in reading back over it, while I was asserting that religion / spirituality ought not necessarily have a place in submissiveness...at the same time, all my arguments were FOR submissiveness as a natural trait God asks of humans!

My post was very contradictory on the whole, and let me quickly just point out why. In it, I asserted from the very beginning that because I don't agree with ALL of the teachings laid out in the bible, I don't need the bible to tell me how my life should be lived whatsoever. I said that I could clearly see from the way the universe works that natural submission is normal and derived from God.

And it IS true. Submission IS evident throughout our world. However...why was I saying that I didn't need the bible to tell me so?

It wasn't because it was not true. It was, and is, very true. I was doing so because somewhere inside of me, I still had that faint resistance toward organized religion, which was manifesting itself in a distrust of the words in the bible.

But the bible also tells us that "You will recognize them by their fruits." (Matt. 7:16a) So, too, we can recognize the BIBLE ITSELF by its fruit, the fruit being the grain of Truth that is found there.

Therefore, it's sound to reason that if the bible shows how headship ought to be arranged and it's also in line with Natural Order...it's ordained by God, who itself created Natural Order, making the admonition in 1 Corinthians 11:3-- "that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God"-- a natural, simple Truth.

Is the above roundabout logic? Perhaps. But it is true nonetheless, and in a lot of ways it's making me rethink my spirituality.

How did I get to headcovering? Why the appeal for me? Well, if you move on from the third verse I quoted just there, it says that women ought to cover their head when praying or prophesying. Most organized religions in this day and age kind of skip over that part because it simply doesn't fit into the way our modern society works. They want SOME of the Truth there...but are unwilling to go all the way and also take the Truth from the rest of it.

A woman covering her head shows submissiveness toward her head of household and to God. It shows modesty and decency and respect. Are these traits that a submissive woman would want to have? As far as I'm concerned, you bet!

So, yeah.

You may find that the context of this blog becomes more and more spiritual. I'm tired of trying to fight off my inclination toward disbelieving the bible simply because I've been burned by organized religion in the past. I'm a Seeker of Truth; that's something that is more important to me than anything else. 

If there are Truths throughout the bible, then you can rest assured that I will find them, utilize them, and share them here. And if the thought of scripture being quoted here and there, with sound, logical reasoning why I think it ought to be followed, upsets and / or insults you for some reason...then it's safe to say that you may want to look elsewhere for a different person's writing who is more in line with your thoughts on the matter.

Or...stay, and share with me this submissive journey I'm on. 

The choice is yours.

The Little Things That Bring Me Joy

It's funny how being in love changes a person. I used to be one of those people that hated household chores. I did them because I had to, not because it gave me any pleasure. I never really had the satisfaction of a job well-done. 

Cooking, sweeping, mopping, dusting, vacuuming, doing the laundry...cleaning the BATHROOM?

Yeech! 

Dishes, especially, were of great personal loathing to me.

God, I always HATED dishes. They seemed to pile up endlessly. I could never manage to keep up with them. It was impossible to get my ex to rinse off his plates and bowls, resulting in a disgusting and ugly mess inside our dishwasher. Eventually, it ended up breaking completely, and I was forced to clean all those dishes by hand, once again, fighting with the disgusting, dried-up mess on plates on a daily basis. 

All this isn't even taking into consideration the fact that I was disabled before I ever married my ex, and trying to grasp dishes with my disabled hand tends to cause me tremendous pain over time.

Succinctly, I loathed dishes and everything to do with them, and I couldn't stand my ex's inconsideration of me. He didn't care that I had to work extra hard to make the dishes clean because he was too lazy to run them under water. He didn't care that doing so was causing me a great deal of physical pain. He clearly thought that was the only thing I was good for-- cooking and cleaning up after him.

This, among many other things, led me to loathe him just as much as I did all those hated household chores. Eventually, it led to the dissolution of our marriage altogether.

And you know what? In a lot of ways, I'm glad it did, because if I hadn't gotten so thoroughly disgusted with this lazy, dirty man, I never would've gotten the nerve up to move so far away from home...where eventually I did end up meeting the one true love of my life. Thank you, God.

Things have changed with me in a complete 180 since I met K. A lot of the things I couldn't ever stand to do back then give me a tremendous amount of satisfaction and joy now.

The reason why is because I know that he appreciates everything I do for him.

I love to cook now, when I used to hate it beforehand. I never got any pleasure out of it, because the simple fact was that I knew my ex didn't appreciate me or anything I did, especially when it came to things like running the household. Doing the laundry, while not entirely pleasurable, is a lot more enjoyable to me because I know that doing it makes my HOH proud of me.

My nemesis, dishes? Oh yes. I LOVE doing the dishes now, surprisingly enough! We have a dishwasher, and lately it's been acting up. Instead of whining about how it needs to be fixed so that dishes come out spotlessly clean like they're supposed to...I decided instead that I'd start washing all the dishes old school-- by hand. It needs doing multiple times a day to be sure that a huge mess doesn't end up all over the kitchen counters, but I love doing it anyway...because now I take pride in the appearance of our home and I want things looking nice all the time. 

It doesn't even bother me that much when my hand starts hurting me, because my sense of pride and the feel of his love for me kind of just...covers it up. It's a pain worth bearing for me because of the rewards I get from it.

The biggest reason for all this is simple: I want my HOH to be proud of me. I feel like I need a sense of accomplishment, and making sure that everything is neat and in order, all nice and clean, is one way of doing that. I know for a fact that K appreciates everything I do around the house, because he tells me so regularly. It bolsters me up and makes me want to keep on keeping on, and even find new and better ways of doing things in order to keep that appreciation and sense of pride.

This is one of those things that just makes sense, and it isn't a one-way street, either. It's very nice to feel appreciated, and I love it. However, it's also very easy to forget to show appreciation for the things your partner does for YOU. You should always remember to show appreciation for your own HOH. Let him know that the little things he does for you are important to you and make you feel special-- even if it is something simple like changing the oil in the car or mowing the lawn. Those things take time, too, and are just as much a reason to appreciate him as he does for you.

Showing appreciation for each other is another way of showing love. When it's a two-way street and both partners are feeling appreciated, it makes them want to work harder, for their partner, for their family, and especially for themselves. 

Stay appreciative, and you'll find that your relationship stays strong, too!

Insecurity.

One of the things I noticed-- rather recently, to my chagrin-- is how I react when I feel insecure. It's not that I didn't realize it, but rather that I didn't realize what it meant. 

It's hard to admit to oneself that you are insecure to begin with, and it's something that I've suffered with a lot over the course of my life. I have always held myself to an impossible standard, something that I could never follow. I want to be always on the right side of things. I never want to be a disappointment or a failure in any aspect of my life. What I seek in myself is perfection, and of course, I ALWAYS fall short of it. No one is perfect. I know this, as does everyone else; and yet the fact remains that I still want myself to be this way...and when I'm not, I find I disappoint myself.

Of course, perfection being what it is, I find that I am constantly disappointing myself. Because of this, I have a deep-seated fear that by being a disappointment to myself that I must therefore also be a disappointment to my loved ones. There is no greater fear to me than disappointing my HOH. It literally goes well above and beyond any other fear that I might ever have, and causes a significant amount of insecurity in me.

It's a sad thing that I can easily recognize my own insecurities, and yet I feel as though I have absolutely no control over them. I understand that my need to be/seem/appear perfect in all matters is irrational at best. Yet at the same time, I cannot stop myself from thinking and feeling this way no matter how hard I try to convince myself I can. 

I constantly and consistently set myself up for disappointment, and in this one thing I never let myself down. I see the littlest disappointments internally and they by their very nature become huge and irreconcilable to me.

I suppose at the least it's a good thing that I understand this part of myself. If I didn't, I can imagine that I would spend my life moody, disappointed, and depressed and have absolutely no idea why. Usually I can spot these sort of emotional trends coming a mile away, even if I'm powerless to stop it happening.

While I do know what the cause of the bulk of my insecurities were, my largest one over all of these is even more simple: I feel that I cannot control myself and my emotions. This is a source of deep disgust and self-loathing to me, and naturally by proxy I find it hard to imagine myself a loveable person if I feel so deeply disgusted in myself. If I cannot love myself, in essence, why ought anyone else, ever? 

Coming close on the heels of that is the fact that I have a deep, undeniable need to know that I am loved, even if I hate myself on many occasions...which is where I come down to the topic at hand.

My reaction to my own self-loathing and disgust is usually tears. I get angry and frustrated at my own stupidity, for saying or doing whatever stupid thing that got me along those lines to begin with. I all at once feel the need to withdraw. I am unloveable to everyone because I do not love myself, I feel.

Yet at the same time, I always find myself turning toward my HOH. He gives me the reassurance that even if I err and do something horribly stupid, he still loves me and is happy with me. Not necessarily my actions, but my person. While I desire to retreat and turn inward, shunning contact with others, at the same time I long for emotional support and physical touch. Nothing stills me faster than being held, because the act itself tells my subconscious, "What you did or said might not be okay, but I'm okay with you." 

Because of this innate need to feel secure and loved, even when I don't feel that I deserve it, I find that the more insecure I feel, the more I long to touch, to hold and be held. Most of the time I cannot express myself. There may not be words attached with all these crazy emotions, or if there are, I may find myself too tongue-tied to get them out. But I know that I can at least express myself in this way. 

My fear in this area is, perhaps, in being found out...although I'll be found out anyhow, considering my HOH reads this. The fact of the matter is that I'm transparent as a pane of glass, and to me it's shameful that I can have just figured this out when I'm positive that he already knows this is my reaction to stress, doubt, and insecurity. 

And yet, here's the truth of the matter: I'm a woman, I'm emotional, and I'm frequently insecure, and the only cure for it is his unconditional love. My saving grace is that he understands the nature of a woman and accepts me for who I am and what I feel.

In Response

I wrote this in reply to a topic on one of my mom's groups. I figured considering it's on this same subject as is so near and dear to my heart, that I'd post it here as well.

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Here's a topic that's very close to my heart! I've stated my opinion on this at least a couple times, I'm sure, but I'm game to have a go at it again.

It's pretty plain from my sig that I do identify as a submissive wife. I mean, it's right there. I blog about it whenever I get the urge to post something regarding this topic. Like many of the other ladies, I will agree that there's a huge misconception in regards to what the term submissive actually is. In truth, it's a lot of things. There are those, like one of the mamas above, who consider it to be a part of the BDSM lifestyle. There are those who consider it to be a part of their duty as good Christian women and wives. And then...there's me, I guess.

I consider myself submissive. I follow my husband's lead in all matters. I feel that it gives me a great degree of freedom, and I feel far more free from worry than I have in my entire life, up till now. I'm happy to be a stay at home mother. I clean the house, I spend five hours a day schooling my child. I make sure the dog is out and that he's enough food and water. I get the mail in and run errands to the store and elsewhere. We cook meals together, because I know that I'm no good at grilling, which we do a lot. We put up the dishes together, and make sure that they're run through the washer. Laundry is my domain. It's not that DH can't do it...he's done it for years on his own after the dissolution of his previous marriage. Fact of the matter is, I'm MUCH better at it, and furthermore, it gives me pleasure to be good at what I do. If it's simply something like cleaning, or doing the laundry, or whatever the case may be, I get TREMENDOUS joy in knowing that in doing these things, I keep my household running smoothly and that I make my husband happy.

To me, there is no greater task in this world than seeing to the needs of my family and house. It makes me extremely happy to know that I'm doing a good job, and I'm told so by my DH all the time. Just like any person would be happy to receive praise at work for a job well done, so too do I. I LOVE to do little things for my husband: I get him his drinks, I rub his back or his feet when they hurt, I make sure that the table is always laid and ready for dinner. And you know what? He's ALWAYS appreciative of that! I am a forever-worrier; everything bothers me and makes me worry...and one of the things I worry over is whether I show him enough that I love him. I'm not incredibly verbally expressive, but he always maintains that through my actions he can easily see that I do love him...which in turn causes me to worry less about it and feel more secure.

I don't choose submissiveness because I am a weak-willed woman. It's something entirely natural and normal for me. I've been submissive by nature for my entire life, ever since I was a child. Consider it the opposite of the classic Type-A personality, if you'd like. I'm not pushy, I don't enjoy the spotlight. I don't enjoy being the one in charge. I prefer to be the person in the background, getting what needs to be done, done without any rewards or applause for it.

Yes, I do think that submissiveness is a choice. No dominant man could ever actually be allowed to be dominant if his woman refuses to submit to him. To me, giving the gift of submission to my husband is my ultimate gift to him: it shows that I hold him in tremendous esteem, that I trust him implicitly above ALL other men. I feel more comfortable with myself, far stronger and more secure, because of the nature of our relationship.

I've tried doing it both ways. In my previous marriage, I desired to be a SAHM, to raise children and mind the house. My ex was fine with having a house slave, but that's really just what he thought of our "marriage". It took me a while to realize it, but he thought that marriage was having someone to do everything for him while he worked. He thought it was all about him working, and doing nothing else, then coming home and having sex with me whether I liked it or not. He wasn't dominant at all; in fact, he demurred to me in EVERYTHING. At first I liked it. I liked being in charge and having a man give me what I want, whenever I wanted it. But after a short time, it began to wear and tear on me. I realized through observing his behavior that he's not a strong man at all. I lost all respect for him, and between that and a variety of other things, that was the beginning of the end of that marriage for me.


When I left him, I was already so disenfranchised with the "wimpy man" type (which he was in spades, video game obsession included!), that I was determined to stay single forever. It wasn't until I found Kenny that I realized that our plans can often go awry, and often for the best of reasons. Where my ex was weak, in Kenny I found a strong man, one who was opinionated and highly intelligent. Before we ever met, I KNEW he was the one for me. Being with him makes me feel like a stronger person and a more confident woman. I trust him COMPLETELY. I don't worry about him making the wrong decision for our family, because I know his mind, and his morals, and his way of thinking. We are in accord in everything in our lives, and I mean EVERYTHING. When you have this kind of confidence in your man, it makes it very easy to allow him to take charge and be the leader.

The way I see it (feel free to bash me, if you will) is that it's the "equal partnership" relationships which are harder to make work. In every aspect of nature, there is a leader and a follower. Look in business: someone must be the boss, and someone must be the employee. Look in the animal world: one must be the pack leader, and the rest followers. These sorts of examples go on and on.

It seems to me that this pattern is one of Natural Order, and it oughtn't be messed with. Someone must lead. How can two people BOTH be the leaders in a household? It would be nothing but a power struggle till the end of time, with constant arguements and fighting over who gets to be in charge, over whose ideas and decisions are the right ones.

Perhaps I'm getting a tad off track of the subject, but this is the way that I see a naturally dominant/submissive relationship. It's just a part of the Natural Order of the world. I don't need god to tell me so, because I can clearly see it evident in almost every facet of the world around me. In fact, I'd venture to say (for those of us who are religious or Christian) that since God created everything, how he would like us to interact in our own personal relationships should be as obvious as observing the world around us. For thousands-- or more-- of years, it was the man's responsibility to lead, to protect his family, and to provide for their support. It was the woman's responsibility to see to the home, to the comfort of her family, and to the raising of children. Somewhere along the line all that went awry. I just figure that, for myself and in my relationship, that we're following a time-tested and proven method that WORKS.

It might not work for everyone, but it doesn't hurt trying. After all, I can't think of many other people I know in my personal life that can claim and have it said true that they NEVER fight or even argue with their spouse. Even my own mother tried to tell me that my relationship is WRONG because I maintain that we never fight. She says that EVERYONE fights, which makes us apparently abnormal.

If that's the case, I'm glad to be in the abnormal minority.

Trust vs. Jealousy

This is a subject that I see come up time and again on my mom's forums. A woman's DH talks to someone that they don't approve of-- be it an ex girlfriend, a female coworker, and the list goes on and on-- and upon finding out, it blows up into this HUGE fight. One of the ladies recently started a huge row and told her husband off simply because he was talking to an old high school girlfriend over Facebook and said girlfriend sent him a couple of old football articles.

Not only did she tell her husband off, she clearly thought that she would get backing for her rude and inconsiderate behavior. It seems to me that she was just as upset when other moms were telling her that she should have handled it in a different way than she was finding out about her husband talking to an old flame.

The part that I find sad about all this is that there's a simple lack of trust...almost everywhere, it seems. If this were an unusual occurrance, I wouldn't think about it too much at all. The fact of the matter is that, nowadays, women simply don't trust their men.

It's really a two way street when it comes to trust in relationships. If you show trust, your partner will be trustworthy in return. If you do not show trust, then your partner may end up feeling that there's no more need for him to be trustworthy...simply because no matter what he does, you won't trust him anyway. The degree of frustration over his ability to actually Do Anything Right will leave him disenchanted at best, and at worst drive him away.

When I read these sorts of things, it makes me ever so glad that I don't have to worry about things like this. While I do admit to jealousy on the occasion, I fully realize that this jealousy is all in my head and it isn't doing me any good. I truly have no need to be jealous of K's ex, because of one simple fact that he told me:

If he wanted her, he would still be with her. He chose ME. He's with ME. He's in MY bed every night.

I still talk to my ex, on the rare occasion. When I do, I try to keep it as short as possible, because it's a part of my life that I simply would like to get past. But he remains on my Facebook profile as a friend-- for a variety of reasons, among them so that I can get ahold of him easier when the time comes for me to file papers-- and, shock and amazement! K doesn't ever get distrustful of me. He has absolutely no jealousy or resentment of what came before. I know this for a fact because, if he did, he would talk to me and tell me!

I'm secure enough in my relationship to know that much. Without genuine communication, nothing's left but that a sense of mistrust and apprehension, which are left to grow and fester until it drives a wedge into the relationship. It doesn't matter if these negative emotions are real or imagined: by nursing them and not letting them out, you make them as real as if they actually were.

Why should K be mistrustful of my previous relationships, really? We both know that my marriage to my ex was...shall we say, less than satisfactory? I wasn't happy at all, through the entire duration of the marriage to my ex, and now that I'm well away from him and with K, I am. I, in turn, know that K's former relationship was just as bad for him, and that being with me is what makes him happy. I still can't fathom that fact sometimes, but yet...there it is. And really? If that's enough for K, it's enough for me, too.

Being confident and secure like this-- having real, genuine trust in one's partner and knowing it's returned in kind-- is one of the most amazing and fulfilling parts of being in a relationship. True trust is an apparently rare gift today, because so often women are so caught up in their own insecurities that they fail to see everywhere that their relationship's gone right. They forget about the fact that The Ex is the ex...for a reason.

Like a Child.

There's nothing in the world like your husband holding you while you cry like a baby and telling you that everything will be alright.

There's such comfort in his words, such strength in his arms.

Being with him makes you feel stronger yourself, more confident.

Even if you feel like a child when he's holding you, there's nothing wrong with that.

He allows you to cry, to grow, to change, and loves you all the more for your tears.

You epitomize femininity to him.

You allow him to see your weakness, and even that weakness is a strength.

You feel like a child, but when your emotions are wrung out, he dries your tears and you return to being a woman, having grown through the experience.

There is nothing more feminine and womanly than being allowed emotion.

There is nothing wrong with being held, and nothing wrong with needing it, too.