11 September 2012

In Defense of Godly Submission

This is my response on a forum in relation to the topic of Godly / Biblical Submission. This is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. I consider it to be one of the most important things that is lacking in most relationships in this day and age. I truly feel that more women would be happier in their marriages if they would just give in to God...and submit to their worthy husbands.

And so, I wrote the below:

I have written on the topic of submission so many times now that I don't even know where to begin! lol

I'm a very firm believer in Godly headship, and that women are to submit to their husband's authority. The husband, in turn, must answer to Christ and ultimately God for the health, safety, and well-being of his family-- not only spiritually, but also physically, mentally, and emotionally as well. A man who is abusive or uses Godly submission as an excuse to trod upon his wife IS NOT DESERVING OF HEADSHIP.

IMO, the key to being able to submit to Godly authority-- and therefore to your husband-- means having a husband WORTHY of submitting to!

A Godly man that does his best to be all that he has to be to ensure the happiness and safety of his family. He works hard, takes care of his children, leads his family spiritually. He is a strong man and therefore he makes it easier for a Godly woman to submit to him.

Much like any company or institution, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE PERSON IN ULTIMATE AUTHORITY. There is a President and a Vice-President, but the President is always the higher authority, the end-all, be-all of decision-making.

No business can be run when every moment is a power-struggle, when every executive decision made is constantly questioned and nitpicked and second-guessed. All this sort of behavior will do is start to make the President second-guess his every move...and eventually he won't want to make a decision at all, his self-confidence being completely shattered because no one is confident IN him.

Does that mean that the President does not ever CONSULT his VP? No, of course not. They should have calm, rational discussions on a day-to-day basis regarding the runnings of the business. They should not let their wants and emotions get in the way of reaching a decision, but do what is best for the entire company.

Ephesians 5:25-33

King James Version (KJV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
The bible does not tell husbands to SUBJUGATE their wives, nor does it say that wives must tolerate abusive, controlling behaviors. It does not say that men must schedule out every waking moment of their wife's life.

The bible COMMANDS men to love their wives as their own body! So clearly, they would be going against God's expressed commands if they were to abuse the trust their submissive wife has placed in them!

I do have a mind. I have thoughts and opinions. I have beliefs. And I can and DO express all those things to my husband-- who IS my Head of Household. And you know what? Because he is worthy of my submission, he listens to every word I say and takes my counsel into account before he goes and makes huge decisions that will effect our relationship or our entire family.

Does he tell me what I should wear every day? What we should eat? How I should do my hair (or in my case, mandate that I cover)? What we should buy at the store? ...and on and on and on? Heck, no! He trusts me enough to know that I am perfectly capable of presenting myself as a good, wholesome, modest, feminine woman. He trusts me enough to know that as his wife, companion, and household steward, that I know more about running the house and other things of importance than he does! And when/if I'm unable to perform my role as a homemaker (such as if I'm ill, or like now, when I'm unfortunately working and he's laid off)...well, he just asks me how I think he should do it!

A real man would never be afraid to ask his woman how to do anything. As the Head of the Household, it is his responsibility to ensure that he knows ALL the functions of the house, his own responsibilities as well as mine.

I think the rub lies in what people think "SUBMISSIVE" actually means. It's been so twisted and distorted and given such a negative connotation that there is always this massive knee-jerk reaction whenever the word is even casually mentioned. You can thank (or rather, blame) feminism for that one.

Through searching the scriptures for the actual TRUTH, people can come to learn what REAL submission means and how they should live their lives in a God-fearing manner.

09 September 2012

The Hypocracy of Christian Modesty

As someone who is highly interested in the topic at hand, I've done countless hours of research into modesty. There are innumerable reasons for choosing to be modest-- which I have recounted many here and elsewhere across the web. Unfortunately, in the course of all this research, I've stumbled across a sad truth.

One of the largest hypocrisies I see propagated by the Christian mainstream is the idea of modesty in and of itself, and to whom the command to be modest is actually for. It is true that the majority of church denominations will say that modesty is something to be desired...but the divergence comes when they seem to espouse the idea that modesty is only meant for women.

I've seen the argument time and again on mainstream Christian websites dealing with modesty:  men are more VISUAL than women, therefore when a woman is immodest around men it is a greater stumbling block to them and leads to more incidents of lustful or improper thoughts. 

Following this roundabout logic (and I hate to say it, but...), the feminists are almost right. Women are still being blamed for the ideas and thoughts of men. Men do objectify women. Often enough, if a woman is sexually assaulted, what she was wearing at the time still does come into question. There are still men who blame women for their own shortcomings and inability to control their sinful, base urges.

And yes, all of that roundabout logic is garbage.

All that being said, I still think that the italicized statement above is a complete crock. Why? ...well, I spend some of my free time on Pinterest (for those that don't know, it's an online picture collecting site). I enjoy surfing around for cute, modest outfits, home decorating ideas, recipes, and inspirational quotes. I'll tell you one thing: that site is a GREAT tool for getting into the heads of both women AND men.

The hugest thing I've noticed is that the idea that MEN are the visual ones and MEN are the ones doing all the objectifying is complete and utter BS. I cannot look through a single post without seeing scores of half-naked men, all sweaty with sexy looks on their faces and shirtless with all their chest and arm muscles rippling. Not only that, but it's WOMEN who are posting all this, and making indecent and downright crude remarks about them!

"Mmmm! Yummy!" "He's so hot!" "I'd do that!" ...yeah.

Women are just as much visual creatures as men are, and they're just as sexualized, crude, rude, and dirty towards men. Seeing men in any state of undress is just as much of a stumbling block, but because this mistaken idea still exists, it continually gets overlooked.

The churches that throw a fit when a woman is caught in a skirt higher than her kneecaps while not chastising their men for running around shirtless (hopefully not at church!) are doing their members a huge disservice. Yes, it might be "hot outside"...but you don't see women running around with their shirts off. That, to their minds, would practically scream "Rape me!" However, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, too. They have that age-old adage for a reason, because it's true.

...I don't think it's too much to ask for men to suck it up and keep their clothes on. There's only one man I want to see in ANY state of undress, and that's my husband!

Modesty isn't just for women: it's for everyone.

03 September 2012

What is Being a Submissive Wife?

I wrote the forthcoming little snippet on the 11th of January of this year in one of my mom's groups and just happened to stumble across it by accident. Once I reread back over it and realized that it needs to be re-posted somewhere where it can get more exposure.

Some of these things have changed-- especially in the realm of my staying at home, because I now work-- but it's still pertinent and I've left it in its entirety without changing anything.

So here goes!

To me, being a woman submitting to one's husband is a matter of following Natural Order-- the rules of the universe given to us by our Creator to live by. Since the dawn of time, this is how it's been, and only ever changed until very recently. It makes absolutely no sense to me to live the way people do now. The constant struggle for power over the relationship and always wondering who is in charge is asinine at best. It's no wonder children are growing up nowadays not knowing what role they are to play in life!

In a sense, I do follow my HOH in a biblical way, too, although I don't do so because I'm a Christian. I'm actually not, although I do believe in Jesus Christ, his message, and God's all-encompassing love. I just firmly believe that the bible taught us that families should be ordered this way simply because it is Natural for us to do so...or, if you want to put it biblically, because God wants us to live this way. Since God is the Maker of All Things, following the biblical standards set forth is simply True, Right, and Natural, because he is the Creator of everything and therefore all Natural Laws belong to God. ...if you can follow my roundabout logic! 

My position is that if it worked so well for so long with the man being the head of the household, it oughtn't have ever been changed in the first place. 

I am a natural submissive in the realm of the classic 50s style housewife. I love to cook and clean, and especially love taking care of my man. I prefer to stay at home to do this, and he prefers it as well. Submitting is easy for me because my HOH makes it very easy for me to do: he's hardworking, extremely trustworthy, caring, loving, considerate, and strong. He always thinks of his family first before worrying about himself. His morals are unshakable, and he has not and never will give me cause to doubt him.